A Sweet Story2

Later in college I was still searching for that special friend, but didn’t find whom I was looking for. There, every one made friends either to have a good time, or to achieve personal benefits, or to secure their financial future, or … . In a word, most of that period’s friendships were quite superficial and nothing more.

When I married, I thought I found my other half. Although I love him a lot, but after a while I realized that no, he wasn’t that super special someone either! He too, just like me, felt that some thing was missing.

In this complicated life, sometimes you feel that you don’t even want to be around those closest to you; you feel that they just don’t always really understand and have the answers. You know, we all need some one to talk to, someone we can trust to pour our hearts out to, someone who understands all corners of our mind, someone who has a big heart yet is very intelligent, someone sincere and benevolent who only wants the best for us, and not only that, but someone who knows what’s best for us better than ourselves, someone who doesn’t misunderstand or misjudge, as they say, a real good friend, a super listener, someone who’s there all the time …; someone whom I hadn’t yet found.

For pouring your heart out, you can’t set a time; you just want to talk to someone any time you feel heavy in your heart, you want to empty your aching heart. Then if there is no one there, you feel that you want to scream!

Same thing happened to me ... I wanted to scream: O my God! Is there anyone who can help me?

I mean, can I find someone who will always be my faithful friend?

I mean, is there someone listening to me whenever I want?

I was dying for such a real friend, but everyone was telling me: "we’ve searched, there wasn’t any, Do not search, there’s none.”

In the middle of all these confusions, I was invited to a party by someone I knew. Even though I wasn’t in the mood to go but because of his persistence, I went.

A Sweet Story1

I want to tell you a story which began in my childhood:

When I was a kid my toys were my friends. I used to talk with them and tell them my secrets, believing that they could really hear me. When I was upset and crying I used to grab and hold them tight so that I might forget all my sorrow. But when I got a little older, I realized that they were not hearing me! I mean they were not able to hear me. In the depth of their eyes, there was no emotion. I had lost my intimate companions.

When I started school I was so happy that among all those kids I was able to find someone to play and talk with easily, becoming his best friend, and he, my best friend. I thought there was no one in the world better than him. I had found whom I wanted.

But when we fought over childish matters and stopped talking to each other then I realized, no! He was not whom I had been looking for either.

… Later when I started junior high, I found a new best friend. But when he thought a group of guys -whom he thought that they were very cool- might let him in their circle, he left me … It was from then, that I felt a very lonely emptiness in my soul.

Then I started high school. From the very early months someone caught my attention. Considering her behavior and studies, she was a good girl. We became friends and we still are.

Although I like her a lot but I have realized that I can not really rely on her as a refuge. Many times, even though she may have wanted, but she hasn’t had the time to be there for me or to just listen to me, some times she doesn’t even have the time to answer my text messages!

to be continued...

next parts:

A Sweet Story2

 A Sweet Story3